Spending Mother’s Day with Foster Children
Mother’s Day can be extremely difficult for some foster children out there. There can be times where the day itself can bring back negative memories for them, and cause envy when they see their fellow school friends being happy. Some may not see the significance as well. In turn, this experience can be uncomfortable to you as well; the foster carer, and it does not have to be this way either. Here are some options to aid you and your foster children through the day.
Spending quality time
You may not be related by blood, and that should not be a reason at all. Your foster children need a stable figure in their lives, and you may be the closest thing they have. So, try spending some quality time with them. Take them out shopping or go somewhere for a day trip. The fact you have shown that you care and bothered to spend time with them will mean a lot. This may create some positive memories of the day for them too.
Celebrate their birth mother
If they have unfortunately lost their birth mothers or struggle with the lack of presence of her in their lives, perhaps celebrate the birth mother’s life. This can be done through activities such as gifting flowers, write a letter or help them curate a memory book. It may help for a foster child to let out their emotions, and it will be comforting for them to know they are not completely alone either. It is important to reassure them that it is normal to feel sad as well, which can help them through the healing process.
Giving them space
For some foster children, the day itself might be quite difficult. It can even be a confusing time for them, and it is important you give them some personal space too. You do not need to distance yourself completely from them. Just let them know that you are there, and listen to their concerns. In time, they will open up to you when they are ready.
There is no right or wrong
Of course, these tips may not be generalised to every family. What may work for others, may not work for you either. Some of these activities may be hard to repeat every year, and that is normal. Celebrating Mother’s Day can be a challenge, so set some limitations on works for you and respect your foster children’s boundaries too. It is important to let your loved ones know about the significance of Mother’s Day for your foster children, so they are not being insensitive. Inclusion is the key, not distance.
Although Mother’s Day may seem a difficult feat when you foster a child, and it does help to give praise and compliment to your foster children in being strong. As long you know you are doing the best you can, give yourself a pat on the back! When your foster children look back n their later lives, they would have appreciated the efforts you have made.